Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Is Oprah even human
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
