C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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