I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
