come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
