there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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