nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
