Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
