well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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