Duck Duck Cougar?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
