Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
