then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
