Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
