i don't like sucking hair
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
