so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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