Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
