Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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