Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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