Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
