I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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