So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just invented taco cereal.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
