You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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