she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
pray to the hookup gods
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
