the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
