She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
