No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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