ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
