ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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