she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
