Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
