It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
