i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
