U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
How many fucks given?
0.12846
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
