Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
