That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
