saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Non-Jews are for practice
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
