You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
