I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
