is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
