he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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