So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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