that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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