I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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