Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
