Only a mothe r could love this liver
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize