Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
