we have officially lost it.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So many bounce houses so little time
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
