Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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