I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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