I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
