she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
