drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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